Don’t Shoot the English Major

In these times, it seems the pen is in fact mightier than the sword. And as a cure for this, we are creating a new fundamentalist religion that concentrates on the manner we communicate with each other.

We are at the crossroads of Metaphor Lost. Figurative language is the enemy least it influences someone to commit violent acts. The shooting incident in Tuscon, Arizona has just accelerated it.

I must not aim and shoot my camera anymore. I will place my camera in front of me and press the button on it that takes the photo. I will no longer try to kill my virus bug, but I will hope to allow the virus to move out of my system and live peaceably elsewhere. Surely if we eliminate violence in our words, we will end all violence.

The insanity of sanitizing metaphors has inspired me to put the fundamentalists in my crosshairs.

Water down our words and we water down our intelligence. Eliminate a vibrant discourse, stop pushing words to their limits, and contract the imagination.

Our language will become a thin gruel that will no longer sustain us.

But the life of a member of Congress is more important than the life of any average citizen and must be protected at all cost. But now I’m dealing with hyperbole.


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